Deciding on remarriage with the ex wife still unaccepting?

Ashok Asked: Deciding on remarriage with the ex wife still unaccepting?

I was married 17 years with 2 kids. Despite every effort I could not get my wife to be loving towards me. We never even held hands, but I knew she loved me so I let it pass. Eventually I got taken for granted. After 10 years I couldn't do it anymore and switched off. We spent 5 years like that. Then I moved out of the house and asked for a divorce, which she refused to give for over 2 years. Then I told her that I would reconsider if she went through with it and she agreed. Its been a year since the divorce. She is financially very sound and has the kids and the house, but she only wants me back and asks me what she can do to make me reconsider. Meanwhile I have met someone else whom I would like to marry? How do I convey it to my ex?

Answers:

Ron and Mandy Answered:
move on . its hard to be signgle but its harder to be with one you cant stand'



hjz Answered:
You do not have to have her approval, she had you and did not know how to keep you.
Her loss! Just get married with the new love and go on.



Kayla Answered:
Tell her straight up that there's nothing she can do to make you reconsider – you just don't love her anymore.
You've moved on with your life and if she cares about you, then she'll be happy for you and move on with her's as well.

If she won't let it be, suggest that she see a counselor to deal with her issues.



Pankaj S Answered:
Just tell her that life has to move on and she should have thought it much earlier. Now I do not have any interest to come back!!



tryn Answered:
I'd recommend waiting to get remarried till your kids are adults, and of course make sure you're mentoring your kids and spending time with them as well. Don't leave your wife to raise the kids herself.



laplandfan Answered:
You just have to be blunt and tell your ex that your marriage is over and has been for years.
Find happiness with this new woman that will marry you and give you the love and affection you certainly did not get from your ex.



Dhruv Cairae Answered:
You have nor clarified whether you are convinced you want to marry the other woman or remarry your ex. Remarrying your ex is a bad idea. People have different expressions for love. You have clarified she never did anything wrong on purpose, hence its fairly obvious that the behaviors with which you have problems are not in her control. Realistically we can change each other to a limited extent. With no wrong doing on her side you were unhappy so if you remarry remember it will be just the same within 1 year. You need to accept and convey that you are not meant for each other and have different expectations. You have to tell her and it doesn't matter how you tell her, she has to cope with it.



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