Discussing Custody of a Child

Dealing with Custody of a Child During Divorce

Custody of a Child

Custody of a Child

When you’re going through a divorce, the custody of a child (or children) may be most important to both you and your ex-spouse. In fact, since it is likely the most important thing to the child as well, it’s really a crucial matter for the whole family. There are many questions which need to be discussed and sought through to find the answers, and it is something which cannot be delayed until later in the divorce process. It needs to be dealt with up front and right away.

The first thing you and your spouse want to remember when discussing custody is to keep the emotions out of the discussion. The decision about who is awarded custody of your child is not something to be made in anger or depression, but instead should be approached rationally and with consideration for your child’s best interests. Depending on the age of your child you may want to consider involving him or her in the decision about whether one parent will have sole custody, or if the child will split their time between both parents. If your child is old enough, you may discuss with them what they want; however, remember that it is not only a matter of what the child wants that should be taken into consideration in making the decision.

Deciding which parent should be awarded custody of a child should take into consideration the financial status, living arrangements, school requirements, and other socio-economic factors in the child’s best interest. Who will be responsible for your kid’s health insurance? Does their school have strict zoning requirements? What if one parent has to move because of work – how will the children be affected? Which parent has the schedule most conducive to caring for the children on the level they need? All these questions and more must be taken into consideration when discussing custody arrangements.

Many situations can be too complicated to handle alone, and most people seek some kind of professional help in making these decisions. Whether it is a therapist, religious advisor, counselor, or your attorney who offers information to help, take it into consideration. You don’t have to accept everyone’s advice about what is best for the custody of your child, but divorce is so prevalent that everyone has experienced or witnessed it somehow. Even if someone hasn’t been through a divorce or custody battle themselves, they likely learned vicariously from watching someone else struggle.

Think outside the box when solving custody disputes with your ex, and remember that being flexible can go a long way in a compromise. Holidays, birthdays, and family celebrations are likely going to be points of contention, so decide which are the most important to you and offer exchanges with your ex. See if there is a solution that makes everyone happy most of the time, because no one is going to be happy all the time. Don’t forget that the most important part of figuring out who has custody of your child is the child itself.


Divorce is difficult and one of the most physical and emotionally taxing processes you can go through. The reality that your marriage is ending can put you into a tailspin and ironically, it is during this difficult emotional time period that you need to be completely clear thinking in your business affairs.
You will need to make unemotional and strategic business decisions that will affect your future financial life as a single person.