Divorce ok due to abuse? Remarriage ok?

Wish she knew the future Asked: Divorce ok due to abuse? Remarriage ok?

I married a man who was mentally and emotionally abusive. I tried to get him to go to counseling or talk to someone at our church – he didn't want to, stated it was nobodies business. I ended up going to a counselor alone as I needed someone to talk to and advice. I tried for years to get my husband to see I wasn't happy and that he was destroying me. I eventually made us seperate as I couldn't stand life anymore – all I did was cry. He never would sleep in the same bed as me (unless he wanted something – but then he would leave). I literally hated my life and hated who I let him turn me into being. I would get yelled at for watching certain TV shows, for enjoying little things in life and forbid to do them without getting yelled. He wanted my opinion on something and no matter what i said, I would get yelled at.

I eventually divorced him, especially after I was pregnant with our (first and only) child and I miscarried. He didn't care that I needed medical attention just worried about bills and he didn't care about what i just went through and I had went through it alone.

I eventually met an amazing guy who is extraordinary! He means the world to me. he really likes me just for who I am, I don't have to change who I am, he wants my TRUE opinion of things and respects whatever I tell him. I love him crazy. I feel we will be together for a long while. I won't be as quick to jump into a marriage again – however I feel one day we might get to that point…

Over all, I do not want God to be mad at me because I left my first husband – I tried EVERYTHING on my part to get us through it so we could make it. I couldn't take much more than that. Now I worry that God is mad because I got a divorce and would consider me an adulteress because I will get remarried. But I also feel if I don't get remarried to this guy I will just be living in sin forever.

How do you think or feel about this? Any comments are appreciated. I feel so confused sometimes.

I don't think God wanted me to suffer anymore with my first husband. This guy i am with now we are literally perfect for each other. I don't want that to ruin our life because we have an ex's (he is divorced too).

Thanks!!

Answers:

Zombie88 Answered:
Any Man, (or woman) can change a lot after marriage, or a lot of it was there , but you just didn't notice.Was your Husband nice to you prior to Marriage? And if he wasn't then why'd you marry him ?So this new one could be putting on an act too. I'd definitely leave him, but don't hook up with this new one too soon. Better to live in sin, than marry him, and find out you've got a second jack ***. Now that would be a real sin. Good Luck.



Gab Answered:
churches… oy!they claim god forgives everything, and then they try to force people to stay lonely when the other party broke their vows!go figure!

be happy, treat others well, and let the religious nuts worry about themselves!



Answered:
First off before I answer I will state I am an Athiest and I'm not going to try and force my beliefs on you. I would say that as long as you live your life right (by right I mean don't abuse people, be kind, and love and cherish what you have) I think you'll be ok. You did your best, that's all anybody will ever ask of you. You stayed strong, you got out of the abusive relationship and yes divorce should be the last step to take, but in your case it was definitely necessary. You had to do what you had to do to survive and you struggled, but you got through it. That to me is a test alone, to show that you have what it takes to be strong and to show that you can overcome a difficult situation. You are loving again and are enjoying what you have. If I did believe in God, I would say he should be very happy of what you've gone through and accomplished. Hope this helped.



zoom Answered:
First off i want to congratulate you for
leaving your first husband you have done
the right thing he will never change.

I am happy to hear you met a great guy
who treats you well, this time get to know
him for at least a year before even living with
him.

You went to counseling in the past so as
long as you are weary, do not settle for
second best. Watch out for the warning
signs which i am sure you know.

I hope he stays the way he is, we all
deserve someone who truly loves us,
no love in abuse. I wish you all
the best. I myself was in an abusive
relationship once i never picked one
again. I looked out for the warning
signs and if i see them i run for the
hills.

There is no excuse for abuse,
nothing justifies it other than they
do not love you, they can not, to them
it is about control and power. If you
leave them they will do it to the next
and the next. So never look back on your
ex husband again.

Go live life and be happy, you deserve
it.



Got a better answer? Share it below!