Divorce Questions

Divorce and separation- serious help.Is nagging and petty picking a sign that she can’t take being i

roh P Asked: Divorce and separation- serious help.Is nagging and petty picking a sign that she can’t take being i

is it a part of her general personality?

Wife has always had a disagreeable personality which I recognised but still can't come to grips with.

She always nit picks and makes issues of non issues.

She is a bad morning and evening person, and a control freak.

We are separated and getting a divorce.

As much as it is painful, I know that the marriage is not working and will never work.

Finding being separated in the same house demanding – especially the lack of physical intimacy which I know she would agree to because she is also finding it hard and she is agreeable in that area, but I know that it is going to complicate things especially considering that we are on the brink of a breakthrough regarding her signing the settlement agreement.

What is her motives in nagging me now when I am not talking to her and I stay out of her way?

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Posted by admin - November 1, 2011 at 10:30 am

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Can a lawyer withhold a divorce decree in NY?

Coleen Asked: Can a lawyer withhold a divorce decree in NY?

A friend of mine (active duty military) is just finishing his divorce.He needs to get a copy of the divorce decree to put up thru his chain of command, however, the lawyer is refusing to release any paperwork until the bill is paid in full.He was expecting to make a payment arrangement, can the lawyer do this?Is there a way to get te divorce decree from the court?

Thanks!

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I have no life..MY life is over for good.?

sunshine31 Asked: I have no life..MY life is over for good.?

NOw that I am divorced and single I have abosulty no life.I wish I nver got a F…..g divorce. IT is all my fault.I should have made it work even though he was a pot head at least we did things together and had a family and he had a good job and made good money.I feel like an idiot for wanting the seperation.I just dont know what I was thinking.I wanted to go to marriage counseling he didnt want to go.I went to counseling twice which I think ruined me and us.I went only twice bc my husband didnt want to pay for it.I am living off of ssi in a studio apartment.oh yeah I am also a non custodial mother and he alienates me from my kids.Now I just sit around in my place depressed lonely and angry.I really just see no point to living anymore without my family.I have no job or car.And I keep having mental breakdowns over my divorce and kids.We have been divorced now for 5 years and I was with a man two years ago that I also cannot get over we were together for two. As times goes on seems like I just keep loosing things and people in my life including my kids.I lost my youngest with my bf because I had a grand mal seizure and then a couple days later had psychosis and was in the hospital and he took custody and now I have supervised visits with all my kids.I have a criminal record for slapping my ex husband bc he shoved me and was calling me names. and a felont fortrying to call my kids on my days he would not anser the phone so I havrstalking charges even though we live in differ states .Now it is difficult for me to find a place to live and work,plus now I have poor credit.If I could go back I would have not gotten a divorce.Now I just want to end my life.I am looking into going back to school for cosmetolgy I already have a bachelors degree but no skills for degree bc I was a stay at home mom.My life is over

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Is it common for a child to pay off the debt of a parent?

meg Asked: Is it common for a child to pay off the debt of a parent?

I have around $35,000 saved up and was considering giving my mother about $25,000 to help pay off a mortgage that she has joint ownership of from a previous marriage (she is the only one making payments on it btw) and some credit card debt. She can barely make ends meet. I'm not inquiring about the morality of helping a parent out or not; I would like to know how people in similar situations deal with this issue. I don't make a lot of money myself (roughly $3,000/month) and I have my own major expenses to worry about but it would give me great satisfaction knowing my mother is in a better situation.

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I have been married 5 months on the 28th of Oct. My husband is Bi Polar. I love him with all I am. W

Tracey Asked: I have been married 5 months on the 28th of Oct. My husband is Bi Polar. I love him with all I am. W

him with all that I am.Good Bad Ugly,we have been thru 3 years and stuck together.I will never not leave his side.A few days ago I had a problem that I was out of commission and could not tend to him and his beck and call,I also needed to call upon legal help for a personal matter….In the past four days this husband of mine who I thought was ok on meds,I found out was gambling again,not on Medusaasked me for a divorce, throws his wedding ring at me and wants the d- word,calls me a nagging B,says I am Fat ***, told me that our house is a houseof horror, I am a f-up, I need to go on disability, he lied to me about where is goes after work, he lets our dog poop in the house, he takes 3 hour baths, 2 hour showers, when he does get home from work, he puts on his pPJ's and goes to sleep on the couch, or he wwatchescnn as loud as he can or he gets on the computer and chats on facebook.He demanded thaT WE GO TO MARRIAGE COUNCLING AND i AM ONE….TONIGHT i SAID WE CAN'T DO THAT WHEN YOU WON'T COMMUNICATEALL YOU DO IS SLEEP, YELL THIS WEEK AND HOW CAN i UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU WHEN i JUST HAD AN OPERATION.yOU TELL ME YOU WILL DO SOMETHING AND THEN YOU DO NOT ONE THING,YOU SAY YOU WILL.hE SAID THEN YOU NAG…. i SAID i WONDER WHERE YOU ARE…. i HAD NOTHING TO EAT FOR 3 DAYS…. AND TONIGHT YOU CALLED ME A FAT ***- i AM5-6 AND YOU ARE CALLING A FAT ***?yOU ARE GAMILING AND YOU ARE TELLING YOU DO DO NOT LOVE ME…..YOU CAME TO THE HOSPITAL AND AGITED EVERYONE THERE AND UPSET ME- AND i HAD SURGERY FOR CANCER….

wHAT KIND OF AMAN R YOU TO DO THIS TO YOUR WIFE?YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR MEDS?yOU WANT A DIVORCE?

cAN ANYONE HELP ME WITH ADVICE?i NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ME…..i JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TO TALK!i AM AT MY END OF MY ROPE….COMPASSION….TALK ME THROUGH THIS….THANKS SO MUCH!

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Would you tell on someone for cheating?

Bopeep Asked: Would you tell on someone for cheating?

I have known for about a year now that my mum (who is divorced from my dad) has been having an affair with her best friends husband.

Now she told me as I picked up on her being low/sad often and she sort of broke down about it to me. I had zero sympathy for her, it's her own fault.. she knew he was married. She knew it was a line you just don't cross but she did it anyway.
Never have I had such low respect for my mum.

Now I have known my mums best friend as well as her husband for years and years. My mums best friend is the nicest person and I feel sorry for her that she isn't aware that her husband and the lady she thinks is her best friend are together behind her back.
They have a 17 year old boy together. He isn't aware I know about the whole situation and I feel extremely uncomfortable any time I have to see them.

I still can't believe it. My mum is a smart woman, she's a clinical nurse.. Not that the uneducated cheat, I don't mean that but I thought with her profession she would have quite high morals I guess.

I find that I don't really want to be around my mum anymore. She lies too, she says she is doing something but goes to meet him secretly.
I told my mum 100% what I think, no sugar coating just straight up. I said what she is doing is wrong and to put herself in her best friends shoes.. And that both her and this man are living a lie and are betraying someone who is meant to be very close to the two of them. I can't sit back and pretend to go along with something that is so wrong.

I want to tell my mums best friend. She's my mum but to me it's about what's right and wrong. I'm sick of my mum lying to me. She said she was going to stop seeing him but she accidentally left her email open on my laptop last week and I saw a disgusting message from him to her about having the best time together etc and how much he loves her etc etc..

Should I tell or not? Some may say it's none of my business but my mum told me, she knows how i feel about cheating.. me ex bf cheated on me. Yeah I'm only 22 but I know what's right and what's wrong.

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Should I tell on someone for cheating? If it is my own mum.. ?!?

Bopeep Asked: Should I tell on someone for cheating? If it is my own mum.. ?!?

I have known for about a year now that my mum (who is divorced from my dad) has been having an affair with her best friends husband.

Now she told me as I picked up on her being low/sad often and she sort of broke down about it to me. I had zero sympathy for her, it's her own fault.. she knew he was married. She knew it was a line you just don't cross but she did it anyway.
Never have I had such low respect for my mum.

Now I have known my mums best friend as well as her husband for years and years. My mums best friend is the nicest person and I feel sorry for her that she isn't aware that her husband and the lady she thinks is her best friend are together behind her back.
They have a 17 year old boy together. He isn't aware I know about the whole situation and I feel extremely uncomfortable any time I have to see them.

I still can't believe it. My mum is a smart woman, she's a clinical nurse.. Not that the uneducated cheat, I don't mean that but I thought with her profession she would have quite high morals I guess.

I find that I don't really want to be around my mum anymore. She lies too, she says she is doing something but goes to meet him secretly.
I told my mum 100% what I think, no sugar coating just straight up. I said what she is doing is wrong and to put herself in her best friends shoes.. And that both her and this man are living a lie and are betraying someone who is meant to be very close to the two of them. I can't sit back and pretend to go along with something that is so wrong.

I want to tell my mums best friend. She's my mum but to me it's about what's right and wrong. I'm sick of my mum lying to me. She said she was going to stop seeing him but she accidentally left her email open on my laptop last week and I saw a disgusting message from him to her about having the best time together etc and how much he loves her etc etc..

Should I tell or not? Some may say it's none of my business but my mum told me, she knows how i feel about cheating.. me ex bf cheated on me. Yeah I'm only 22 but I know what's right and what's wrong.

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My boyfriend does all the crying the relationship :/?

Jamie Asked: My boyfriend does all the crying the relationship :/?

I feel like our gender roles are reversed I never cry and when I do I hide and never want people to see me or know that I am crying. I had a hard childhood to not gonna lie for example, my father used to beat the crap out of my mother sometimes me he sent her to the hospital a few times I would at 4 yrs old make my then 3yr old sister dinner. Once my parents finally got divorced, my father limilted money supply even though he had to pay we grew up without a lot, in conjuction I was stilled getting abused by him. Then, go to middleschool and I was bullied to death. I don't like sharing this to people I know because I hate pity but is it safe to say I went through alot?
Now my boyfriend cries all the time! He comes from a great family he is in his mid 20's but he has not completed school and he drowns his feelings in alcohol and smoking – pot and cigarettes. His reason for his problems is that he remembers everything and his mind makes him go insane! I have that problem but have learned to deal. Regardless, he has tried to commit suicide and thank god he doesn't but even though his problems seem silly I always drop what I am doing to console him and make him feel better, he cries like every single time! I have depression and always thought that I was the weak one but I am getting slight aggitated because I do everything in my power to help him but he is doing nothing to help himself. I have considered cutting ties off but am worried he may go off the deep end and really kill himself, when I recommend professional help (btw I have gotten help!) he get very hostile. What do I do :/

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How do I walk away from a man that I still love, even though I know he isn’t right for me?

confusedinlove Asked: How do I walk away from a man that I still love, even though I know he isn’t right for me?

If any of you read my last question, you will recognize this story.I am happily married, but have never been able to forget my ex boyfriend, to the point of having dreams about him over the years so real that I wake up looking for him, and having that knot in my stomach because he is not there. We have been apart almost 9 years. We reconnected recently, it was like no time had past. Ok, why didn't we stay together before?He had been with his gf (now wife) on and off for a few years when we met, and then we were on and off for three years. He had told me at that time that he loved both of us, and was so torn he didn't know what to do. I never understood that until now.I didn't believe you could love 2 people, now I know that you can.When I met my husband, I chose to let him go because I wanted security, even though the feelings for my husband were not the same as those for this man. He then found out that his g/f was pregnant, and ended up marrying her because of the child.He says he really wanted it to work out, he really wanted to have kids and be happy.The feelings between the two of us were always intense and very realm and I truly believe that if I had been the one to get pregnant, he would have married me. (I'm not being an idiot, he was genuinely a good person in a bad situation.)I dont know what to do because I love both him and my husband, but the connection with my ex has always been stronger than anything I've ever had with my husband. I have one child, age 3.This other man has 4 children and is in the process of moving out of his house (started before he even started talking to me). He has told me he really tried to make his marriage work, and is very unhappy that it hasn't worked out, especially because of the children. He claims his wife wants nothing to do with him physically anymore, and she barley even talks to him.He claims he has tried to approach this with her, but she isn't interested in even hugging him, never mind anything else.He says he still loves her, she is the mother of his children and a wonderful person, but he knows that they are not on the same page anymore, and maybe they never were. He says he will always love her, but he is not in love with her anymore. He says even the older children are now aware that something is not right, because Daddy always sleeps on the couch. He is not telling me this to get me to be with him, he is genuinely disappointed that his marriage is not working out. But he also doesn't deny that he has thought about me a lot over the years as well…He says I have always had a big piece of his heart that will always belong to me.He even told me last week that he still loves me, and probably made the wrong decision marrying her.Maybe we would have been happy, maybe we would hate each other now also, who knows.It's just putting me through emotional hell right now because I still have such strong feelings for him and I don't know how to let him go.I felt this way before we began talking a short time ago, but of course it has gotten worse since we began communicating.I know I need to cut communication with him and just be happy with my husband, but now that he is in my life again – I don't know how to let him go!I can't imagine not talking to him anymore after all this…and that it will haunt me worse than in years past.What do I do?

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Posted by admin - October 31, 2011 at 11:30 pm

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Can any children of divorced parents help me out?

Jay Jangle Asked: Can any children of divorced parents help me out?

So, yatta yatta, my mom and dad split when I was 8 and my sister was 6. Both parents talked with us about the divorce a little while after it happened, and they made it known when it was happening, but they didn't talk to us beforehand or give us a sort of heads up. We just got picked up from school by grandma and she told us that mom and dad needed some time apart, and then dad didn't come home. Mom remarried in a few months and that marriage ended six or seven years later.

I have been in a lot of therapy for depression and mental illness, and I thought for a very long time that I was pretty much over the divorce. However, in the past few months, I randomly began thinking about being a father, and I have been depressed a lot when I recalled the long-forgotten feelings I experienced when I asked mom for a week straight when dad was coming home, and each time she didn't really answer. I also began almost reflexively crying when hearing songs about children and their parents.

I have always been a thinker and a researcher, so over the years I read articles and books on divorce and children and how kids generally cope. My Dad and I still talk and hang out when we can, so that's apparently one 'good' factor. I have also talked to both of my parents about the divorce and went to therapy about it throughout my teen years, so again, that's apparently another 'good' factor. Due to these things, I should be unhurt and better now, but I don't know why it still hurts so much when I think about that and the other bad things that have come up from their divorce and continuing conflicts?

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