DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DISGRACE ON MY PART?

Hazel Wykes Asked: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DISGRACE ON MY PART?

I am 59 yrs of age-divorced from unhappy abusive loveless 25yr marriage to a man i didnt wish to marry but my parents wanted rid of me so had no choice but to marry.
I live in a council tower block flat this last ten years-have a serious spending addiction & a obssesive compulsive disorder plus am Bi Polar.I havent had any control of my spending on material things i dont need out of my income support.I keep wanting & craving luxury items such as the i-phone 4S which i can never have as i'm banned from all credit and i dont work have no savings and live on income support i cant save up for a i-phone-it'd take years to do-& NO no-one will take me out a phone contract in their name so i can get my mitts on a much coveted i-phone-even my son Wont as he took me out an old nokia 6700 last xmas 2010 on a contract which runs till xmas 2012 so he wont take out another contract for me at least until my presant contract ends-so i feel angry and resentful and bitter all the time cause i cant get my fix right now.
I'm constantly angry and depressed cause i've got no money except fortnightly when i get my benefits then i go out and blow it all barely leaving enough to pay the proper amounts on my household bill instalments-and regarding food-we myself and son practicually go without as i have no money for us to eat proper food due to my obsessive reckless spending.Its been over ten years since we last eat meat,fish,veg and fruit-we just live on sugary junk food-our health isnt very good at all-& my health is absolutely terrible-i get breathless and exhausted just walking to my local shops 6 mins walk away.I have to go to bed for several hours to recover when i get home.I have a lot of health problems both physical and mental.
I cannot buy shoes and clothing either cause i cannot save up money from my benefits for these-havent bought clothes and shoes for ten years so i walk around in tatty old clothes and have one pair of shoes only that are getting worn out.
I have over thirty creditor debts-have been paying creditors by a debt management scheme for ten years but i'll never be able to pay them all off so am now undergoing a debt relief order.
I thankfully get my rent and council tax paid for & just have my bills to pay on fortnightly instalments but i keep spending so much of my benefits away each two weeks so cant pay the proper amounts and often have to skip payments and most weeks i only have ten pounds available for both food and household cleaning items etc.I keep having to beg a tenner off my ex husband each week to see us through.
Because i have no money left during the week i dont have my benefits i get very angry and depressed as i've got no money to spend so i'm shut up at home feeling resentful.I cant go out anywhere as i've got no money left at all and i hate been shut up in my flat all day every day untilbenefits day comes round again.
I feel better whilst i'm out spending but once the moneys gone i feel down and depressed again and go into rages sometimes violent.I even took it all out on a pet hamster once and almost killed the poor thing.
I am so full of anger and resentment now because i cant have and never will have the i-phone 4S that my son has got cause he's allowed credit for mobile phone credit but i'm not cause of the amount of debt i've got into.He has also been working till recently so deserves that phone-but i just wished i could have one-i've had a go on it and i can highly recommend the i-phone 4S but i cant get my son to take me out another contract so i'm in a foul black mood all the time now.I only cheer up once a fortnight when i get my benefits and then i go out squandering my money away & then when i realise there isnt enough left to last the fortnight for food and the bills i'm all angry and resentful again.
I need some kind of help-but what and where from?I cant go on this way.Other people on here said i'll end up stealing to get what i want or commiting murder and will end up homeless if i dont seek help urgently as i'll just get worse not better.

Answers:

Chris Answered:
That was a really long question. Also, I stole your face.



Luke Answered:
Save money by living under a bridge.Like a troll would for example.



Alexander Answered:
i dont think so



Diane Hilary Cleator MRSChuck Miller DIVORCED Answered:
champagne taste beer budget .when you get your money try to get all the NECESSARY STUFF FIRST AND FAST BEFORE ANYTHING GOES WRONG .
go round the shops BEFOREHAND figuring out what yer gonna get and even plan what shops in what order so you dont have any temptations .maybe the debt management scheme needs re – doing cuz a lot can change in the ten years youve bin on it alREADY( maybe even longer lower payments ) .maybe also you can volunteer somewhere to pass your time watching the paint dry somewhere else for a change and maybe GET some change DOING it ! i dunno iphone 4S but there ' ll be a better iphone 4T and a better iphone 4U and a better iphone 4 V and



Zoe W Answered:
Your local Mental Health team, should have a team who deal with helping mentally ill people with money, benefits etc, so speak to your psych next time you see them (assuming you have one since you are diagnosed Bi-polar and OCD). This is not the best place for you to seek help, as people don't understand mental health problems and will probably say you are selfish or give sarcastic answers. I hope you get the help you need.



LillyB Answered:
Didnt read it all but yes I think its a bit pathetic and you need to get a job and get a life.Also sort yourself out or the rest of your life won't be very long.



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