Ending a Marriage After an Affair


If You’re Faced with Ending a Marriage After an Affair


Ending a Marriage After an Affair

Ending a Marriage After an Affair

If you have questions about ending a marriage after an affair, you’re not the first person. Whether you are the cheater or the cheated-on, things are different after the cheating happens. An affair, cheating, a liaison, whatever you call it – is not the problem itself, but a symptom of a bigger problem. Before the cheater ever cheats, there was something already upsetting them about a larger problem. If you’ve had an extramarital affair, think about what the underlying cause – why you strayed outside your marriage. If your spouse had an affair and you’ve found out, you’ll start wondering why immediately.

If you’re the affair-haver, the first thing you’ll likely consider is whether or not you’ll tell your spouse or keep it a secret. You may have even thought before it happened about what to say when the time came. You may have already thought about divorce. If you’ve considered ending your marriage after an affair, you might benefit from speaking with professionals for advice and information about options. Professional counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, and religious advisors exist to help people through major life decisions, like divorce. Whether you have had an affair or have found out about your spouse’s affair, and are now thinking of ending your marriage, you should consider speaking with professionals to understand the spiritual, emotional, and physical consequences.

If you and your spouse cannot reconcile, you will likely want to speak with an attorney as soon as you can. A lawyer can advise you how the affair might affect the divorce, and about the financial aspects of what needs to happen next.  Ending a marriage after an affair can not only be a tricky emotional business, but a financial one as well. You need to maintain and protect your financial assets and be prepared to compromise and negotiate during the divorce process. Make sure you get an experienced attorney, and ask them every question that comes into your mind.


Ending a Marriage After an Affair Conclusions

You likely won’t have to ask friends and family for advice – because of your situation, people will probably throw advice at you. (Yes, this will be true whether you are the cheater or the cheated-on.) Take everyone’s advice “with a grain of salt.” Keep in mind, although the people giving you advice care about you, they don’t know the details of your family, and they can’t decide what is best for you. Only you can decide how to handle ending your marriage after an affair. There may even come a point where you decide to ask people to stop giving you advice, diplomatically reminding them that although their advice may be helpful, it also may not. One way to cope with too much advice is to ask for advice in specific specialized areas (like finances, property, children’s needs, etc) so that you’re hearing different types of advice from different people.  There’s no one who can absolutely guide you through the process of ending a marriage after an affair, but there are professionals out there who care, and can help.


Divorce is difficult and one of the most physical and emotionally taxing processes you can go through. The reality that your marriage is ending can put you into a tailspin and ironically, it is during this difficult emotional time period that you need to be completely clear thinking in your business affairs.
You will need to make unemotional and strategic business decisions that will affect your future financial life as a single person.

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