how am i supposed to deal with my parent’s divorce?

Renee Asked: how am i supposed to deal with my parent’s divorce?

i'm a teenager, and honestly i feel like i'm about to have an emotional breakdown because of this. i feel like i wanted their marriage to work more than they did. i KNOW they still love each other! for a fact, they will NEVER stop. they've been together for over 23 years (more than half their lives) and i'm so shocked how they can just throw all of that away! what the hell?! i'm angry, sad, hurt, etc. what do i do, how do i know it's for the best, will everything be okay? please help me.

Answers:

Extra Blue Note Answered:
a person just does not stop loving someone even though they were hurt emotionally by them.they did not decide over night just to divorce–its been building over time.ask them both to do one last thing for you as their daughter to please go to marriage counseling.you should phrase it like that so that they will see that you are in this divorce with them.
sometimes emotional abuse by a husband or wife is so bad that the only way for the spouse to save their sanity and self is to divorce and you will have to live with their choice.



Starfish Answered:
You don't know that they still love each other, and even if they do, love is not always enough to make a marriage work.

YOU will be okay.And, chances are that both of your parents will end up happier in the long run.

I'm sorry you're upset, but I think you need to realize that they will always be your parents and will always love you, even if they are not together.



disguy Answered:
Its a tough time in life having to go through such pain. Time will heal ur emotions as it did mine. I was 10 wen it happend to me and i didnt know or understand why my parents divorced wen everything about there relationship was right, I wantd to do bad things 4 wat they did but i was only hurting myself more.. wat i should of done was talk to them bwt hw i felt and why they wantd to end their relationshp. As i gt older i understood more and startd to think maybe it was 4 the better 4 my parents to end their marriage. Your parents will always be there 4 you and it'll be ok. ITS not your fault.



Colum Mc crudden Answered:
Your duty is to make your kids happy. You have tried once to patch it up, try a second time, and if nothing comes of it, settle your grievances and become civil with one another. Marriages should hold no secrets as this shows distrust.

You had your affair, you had your regrets and you recovered your feelings for your wife. Her affair might be down to not having anyone else to speak with and goes to an older man for comfort and emotions fly due to her mothers illness, job loss and bad relations with her father to top it off.

Find someone who is close to you and happier than you, so to speak, lay your problems one by one, look at the needs of yourself, your wife and compare them to the needs of your kids. Weigh positives to negatives. Simple mathematics. If your wife is civil, things can work out smoothly, if not, you keep yourself to your kids

I may be 22, but i have witnessd alot.



Answered:
I think its over. Find someone eles. Your only hurting yourself.



craig b Answered:
Know WHY your wife "feels" like leaving?
Because her immature, selfish NEEDS are not being met in the marriage! She sees you as kinda worthless in meeting her emotional needs!
For her, it's better to be without you than with you.

That's how NEEDY she is!

"His needs – Her needs" by W. Harley
"The Five Love Languages" by G. Chapman
"Fireproof" (movie)

Start here and do your own therapy!



Steve Answered:
Well – two backstabbing cheaters about to part ways.The only ones I feel sorry for here is the children.

Neither of you seem willing to do what is necessary, nor do you seem emotionally capable.So sad for the kids.



lola Answered:
You need to move out, and lessen the pain for yourself and your kids.It is probably an unresolved issue with her Dad.have you both tried counselling to see if this is the problem.



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