How to make amends after all this?

Rea Asked: How to make amends after all this?

Our marriage was not in a good place. I had an affair, we separated, tried marriage counselling but ultimately he wanted a divorce so we got one recently. Note: Before my affair, I caught him on dating sites posting ads soliciting sex for "intimate encounters." Soon after we separated, he had sex with someone else. We both confessed to eachother. Lately we've been discussing reconciliation. He keeps saying I need to do more to show him I am serious about reconciliation, that I need to show him more. Thing is, I feel I *am* showing him as best I can. I've been honest with him and cut off all contact with the affair guy over two years ago, I'm not on FB, etc. He, meanwhile, does not think he's done anything wrong and that he was perfect which is untrue. He would habitually spend days/weeks w/o talking to me which made me feel so small. He said yes, this was bad, but not as bad as my cheating. I feel like I'm the one still being punished for everything while he's using it as a hall pass to make minimal efforts.
How long or how much do I do this before before it's ok again? I want him to put forth the same efforts I do. Help.


No this relationship is beyond help.

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