I’m still curious. What would you have done?

E E Asked: I’m still curious. What would you have done?

OK, your Ex-husband (after years of being verbally abusive and almost 4yrs of being divorced being the same way) starts sending you love(e-mails) letters. They have an EXTREMELY depressing tone and talk about keeping your dirty shirt to smell you and pulling out his toenails with pliers and plucking out his eyelashes. Then the day after receiving one such e-mail he sends you a text message that (basically) he's going to commit suicide, and he's crying out for help. So you call the cops to check on him as well as his mother.He is also going through rehab for long time alcohol abuse, which is great but probably greatly exacerbating the situation. Now the coming weekend is your child's (5yr old girl) visitation weekend. She be alone with him for three days. Would you let your child go? Or file a restraining order on him for you and your daughter to keep him away like your attorney is advising?

AS well as for those of you who know about these conditions He has been diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Effect and Paranoid Schizophrenic Tendencies

I did end up filing the restraining order last week and the judge thought this was the best thing to do as well. She said His behavior was extremely concerning to her. I guess I just feel a little bit bad for my daughter. I don't want to keep her from her dad…but I have to be concerned about her safety.


Lo Colombiano Answered:

Amy C Answered:

redpeachmi Answered:
You did the right thing. Anyone who is not acting in a rational way should not be around children.

bunny Answered:
RIGHT ON E.E.You most surely did the RIGHT thing given all these circumstances…Oye ve…What a mess for you!-And frightening…You're so, so right – she only has YOU to protect her and you MUST DO SO as you are.

Kudos for being the smart, savvy woman you are and forging ahead…Your daughter, in time, will know and see all for herself, but until that magical day when it sinks in as an adult?You need to do your job.

-And you have.I would have done EXACTLY the same thing.We lost a little girl up here in Northern California a few weeks ago…Her Dad not only killed himself?-But took this precious life down with him…So sad.

You have my utmost respect!


paayas Answered:
What you did was correct! Surely you are not going to risk your child's safety. Wait for him to get well. I hope he dose and then the visitations can move on. But for the moment this perhaps was the best option.

Brittany Answered:
I completely agree with you. It hurts that your daughter will grow up without a dad but there is no risk to you or your daughters saftey.

LIPPIE Answered:
The only thing you could do is have supervised visitation. Someone other than you there to make sure all is okay. His mother, sister or a paid advisers from court could do this.She could see him, and they could have fun and she would be safe.

Jenna S Answered:
This guys wacked! Hes pulling out his eyelashes and toenails and is a drunkie and is in rehab and you have been verbally abused. File a restraining order was a great idea! Dont say that you feel bad for your daughter, weather she knows it or not you were doing the right thing for sure! Try to find someone for yourself then introduce him to your daughter if you see this relationship forming into something else. This will be her real dad. Dont lie to her though if she does ask about her dad if your in a relationship or not that would most definitley is NOT right. She should truly know what her dad was like and it was better for her to be away from him. Since she is s young she will soon forget her dad. Good Luck with everything and hope you and your Daughter have a great life!!

foxymosh Answered:
I would have done what you did, her safety is of great importance.Here in the uk we would have a 3rd party involved which would mean child visits parent but under supervision, maybe you have that where you live? but apart from that I would not feel guily.

SuperKitten Answered:
He is not a fit parent. It's not her fault that her father is messed up; you just need to be 100% with her when she's older about the divorce, and she'll be able to get over it and cope and not be all messed up. It's not healthy for her to be around him; good job for leaving him! Good luck with your daughter!

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