Improving non existent self esteem?

DJ Asked: Improving non existent self esteem?

I'm 30, this is something I suppose kicked in when I was 14-15 and well its pretty mush ruined every area of my life.

I failed all my exams at school as I figured "I'll probably fail them anyway so whats the point" as a result I've just floated from 1 dead end job to another. Driving same issue, "I'll probably fail so whats the point". I have never once asked a female out, "She'll probably say no so whats the point" I've pushed all friends away so now I have none. As a direct result of all this I've been unable to achieve anything in my life, no decent job, no house, no car, no vacaction, no marriage. My self esteem is so low I won't even talk to attractive members of the same sex at work as I figure "They wouldn't want to be seen with me"

This is all just a brief summary of what my life is like, I am on the train to no where fast and I don't know how to get of.I have social anxiety and depression, I don't know if these are caused by my low self esteem or vice versa.

Any help would be appreciated.


michelletmy Answered:
Get yourself treated for depression and anxiety. Life doesnt have tobe this way. You are going to improve yourself. Make it your resolution.

Angel Answered:
Well everything will be fine, u just need to have a little more self confidence. You would realize that all this simply depends on your mind and how you think. I'm sure u are a very handsome person and probably something that has happened in the past is prompting u 2 feel this way abt yourself. If u just have a little more confidence everything will work out 4 u. There are a billion people on this plannet that feels just like u do sometimes, u just need to move forward.. so u fail an exam.. brush youself off and move forward.. so this girl doen't like u, maybe she wasn't the one. Without failure there would be no success. Never let things that happened in the past slow you down.. some of the greatest people on earth felt just like u r now.. but they persevered which u should do also;) I know that u might be tired of hearing that but right now its all u can do. Watch the following links I know that they will help make u feel better:)
I hope this helped… everything will be okay, hope u feel better soon

Night King Answered:
First of all this is adultery and adultery is a big sin in Islam, the second thing I think you should ask him about the story of these pics. Finally I think you must get divorced if this split is going to take long time because at the end both of you will not tolerate it.

Misty Answered:
I beleive this might be becasue he knows that you just gave birth too his baby. oput of your vagina and it might gross him out ! personally i would feel weird having sex after having a baby !

Cassie Answered:
U ve probably lost the sex appeal that usually attracted him,lose the 11 lbs first and observe how it dramatically would change.However some men get irritated and touch like having sexual relationship with women who just recently put to bed like u.Give him sometime to get over it as u also shed the extra weight.

Franklin Answered:
When he was honest with you and said he didn't "feel the same", instead of getting angry with him, you SHOULD have gotten curious.

"Honey, WHY don't you feel the same?"

But, the consequence for being honest with you only earned him your anger.So he came up with a lie instead."I have a low sex drive."Believe me, he's kicking himself in the backside for not saying that in the first place.

You need to go back and ask him why he doesn't "feel the same" anymore.But I fear asking him for an honest answer may be a moot point at this junction.After all, his attempt at being honest with you only made you furious.

And I can't see a reason why he would want to experience that a second time.

warneal69 Answered:
Your in denial!! You may not think your fat but your husband thinks your fat and that is why he does want to touch you!!!

FYI, No one wants to cheat with a fat chick!!!

LEYKIS 101 Answered:
Why do Americans always go to divorce when it comes to no sex in a relationship? He is probably depressed or just taking his time for some reason. Did he see the child birth? Thats a big big mistake!! Men fear women after seeing childbirth. Just ask him whats up.

india Iima foxtrot Answered:
Probably because you chunked out and just aren't as attractive.

mastermind delinquent Answered:
Maybe. He. Thinks. The. Baby. is. Ugly?

Frank is Back Answered:
2.5 months ago is not that long. When he says it doesn't feel the same, that is exactly what he means. Your vagina hasn't fully healed. Considering this is your 3rd child, your vagina has done some serious stretching. It can take up to a year for your vagina to get back to it's pre-delivery state.

Flower Answered:
It is a cruel truth that one of natures greatest miracles is often very scary to the husband. It can often create quite an afterimage in the minds eye when a man sees your treasure transformed during birth by scalpel, baby's head, and expulsion of placenta. It is very unfair to both you and him because you gave him the greatest gift, a child. And it is not exactly his fault. He can't get the picture out of his mind due to the shock he was unprepared for. If this is his problem, he is most likely plagued by guilt as well. He doesn't want to reject you, anything but.

The best advice I can think of is to… well, gently "baby step" (excuse the pun) him through a conversation of the problem. It is unfair to you to soothe your mans fears of manhood…again. But isn't that basic to the plight of being the wife? Most men will deny it, but we men act like little girls when it comes to icky. Sorry.

If it this isn't the problem than at least you will both have a good laugh at my expense, and the path of communication will be opened up between you, so you can find and fix the problem together.

Good luck and have fun

Brittany Answered:
A few years ago, I had a ovarian cyst rupture, and it resulted in a short hospital stay and the doctor telling us not to have sex until after my next period. 2 months later, my husband still didn't seem to want to have sex, so I pressed him as to WHY. Turns out, he was terrified he would be hurting me. Had I not pressed him for the real reason, it probably would've resulted in me thinking he no longer found me attractive, or something like that. I'm sure he was also relieved that I was able to assure him nothing hurt in there anymore.

Keep in mind, a woman's body is vastly different from a mans, and most men don't really know very much about how all that works. Perhaps your husband just doesn't find you attractive, but something tells me he's worried that sex will somehow hurt you or that your body needs more recovery time and doesn't know how to express that. As his WIFE you need to press him for the TRUTH behind the matter. There is always a reason, and he should tell you so you can move on from there.

Got a better answer? Share it below!