Marriage Question for Christians about Divorce. Serious answers only please!?

I Stand with Israel Asked: Marriage Question for Christians about Divorce. Serious answers only please!?

I am a Christian and I am contemplating divorce.I know the bible says that it is forbidden unless there immorality taking place and this is where my question begin because immorality can be a number of things, not just infidelity.

The man I wish to divorce is an alcoholic, lazy, will not work, vile, angry, and he says often he is angry with God.He yells at me and becomes very direct and belligerent. He smokes and leaves ashes all over the house and I have COPD.When I ask him to please stop, he becomes angry and tells me that he will not be my b-1-t-c-h.He is very wrapped up in politics, which is fine, I am interested also, but I am not angry because of my Christian beliefs and the fact that I have faith in what is occurring in this world as God's plan in these end days.

I try to tell him these things and he acts as if it is very uncomfortable to discuss God and the bible.He fidgets a lot, gets a frown on his face and cannot sit still and tells me he does not want to talk about Jesus.He is also vile, I will not get into it.He is dirty, rude, drunk and this all started when he became unemployed about a year ago.I saw it underlying I suppose, but this is something I cannot take.He will not look for work because has has unemployment.

I digress. I have prayed and prayed for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit and I have prayed and prayed to strike this anger from me.I go from being very angry and being filled with absolute disgust to stopping myself and remembering to love thy enemy.

With his behavior I spend all of my time when I am not at work taking care of him and the mess he makes while I am at work.I am not able to devote myself to God as I would like.His insecurity in himself tried to oppress me and he tries to stop me from doing things I enjoy if he does not like them.Essentially, if he does not like the activity and does not want to go, then I shall not go either.I am hardly able to read the bible, church has been difficult to go to and I am feeling smothered with this.

So, about divorce, under these circumstance, would this be considered immorality and grounds for divorce in God's eyes?I asked him to move out, but he will not.

Answers:

Meredith Answered:
He is verbally and emotionally abusive. This is an ok thing to divorce over. The reason why the bible never specifically stated that you can divorce over abuse is because women were not allowed to initiate a divorce in the ROman culture (not that god agreed with the cultural law). Thus, a woman wouldn't ever divorce an abusive husband because she had no right to =(

The bible doesn't address divorce over abuse for that reason. How-ever, biblical clues help us come to the conclusion that abuse is an ok reason to leave. Remember that Jesus said Moses allowed divorce because of the men's 'hardened hearts'. Your husbands heart is hardened.



Answered:
yes , divorce under God's eyes is immorality. God has joined a man and a women never to be separated. the 2 are now 1.



Sandra Answered:
No..you can have divorce ONLY if he dies or have sex with other woman

So, you wont allow homosexuals to get married under civil law…but you people want divorce very easily?



chickenhead Answered:
can i have your number if you do get divorced your kinda hot and dont care that you believe in glenn becks visionfor america



cali Answered:
Are all you people freaking serious???? WOW!!!!! I am so happy I was not raised a fundamentalist!. You all are NUTS!

Why don't you live your life to be happy???? God created you to be happy not miserable! If this guy treats you like crap, find a new guy who will love you. These people commenting are living in the dark ages and I pity them. If God is all loving, he would want you to be happy- not physically and emotionally abused!

WOW I mean just WOOOOOOOOW!



Hope is certainty Ross Answered:
Adultery can be interpreted loosely if you feel that is what is going on. It's the other putting his or her attention elsewhere than trying to increase intimacy and grow in the relationship. When that happens, there is no marriage.

But you must work this out with God. You must commune with Him via the Holy Spirit. If you are angry, you are not finished with the marriage. Forgiveness is necessary. He is doing the best he knows how to do and you are still responsible for helping him, which can't be done when you are angry.



Boats Answered:
Yes 'Adultery' is the legitimate reason for divorce. This man [has] committed adultery with the conduct he has displayed. He doesn't have to have had sex with another to be an adulterer. Christ would never want you to suffer this kind of abuse.



BeckF Answered:
Three grounds for divorce:
1. Fornication
2. Desertion
3. Death

Marriage & Remarriage is to be only to a person in the Lord (Christian).
Marriage, according to the Bible, is flesh joining flesh, Divorce is flesh leaving flesh
which is spiritual grounds for divorce.



Apostle Paul Answered:
Christ was Clear when he said that the only grounds for divorce was adultrey, however if you feel like your spirituallity is in danger or your life is in danger and refuses to help support his household it is grounds for a seperation.



Jennifer Answered:
This would be ok in God's eyes – he is an unbeliever if he will not follow God's commands or even want to believe in God.God tells us not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever in describing marriage.If he is like those things you described, then it is perfectly fine to divorce him – God speaks about putting the husband or wife aside if they are unbelievers or sinners.



Lucky Me Answered:
There are (2) reasons for Divorce (That are Biblical)

1. ADULTERY: If the spouse (Christian or not) of a Christian commits adultery, the offended party can divorce and is free to re-marry.

Matthew 5:32 (NKJV)
32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

(Remember that Jesus said "if a man has looked at another woman with lust in his heart, he has already committed adultery…so pornography such as movies and magazines would be considered adultery-as would nasty flirting, talking and touching)

Matthew 19:9 (NKJV)
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.
(This verse tells us the same thing)

2. DEPARTURE: If the non-believing spouse of a Christian chooses to leave the Christian and divorce, then the Christian is free to remarry. If the non-believer leaves refusing to live together as husband and wife, yet refuses to get a divorce, the Christian then has the right to divorce and is free to remarry if they desire to.

1 Corinthians 7:12-15 (NCV)
12 For all the others I say this (I am saying this, not the Lord): If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer, and she is happy to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer, and he is happy to live with her, she must not divorce him.
14 The husband who is not a believer is made holy through his believing wife. And the wife who is not a believer is made holy through her believing husband. If this were not true, your children would not be clean, but now your children are holy.
15 But if those who are not believers decide to leave, let them leave. When this happens, the Christian man or woman is free. But God called us to live in peace.

Verse 15 says: The Christian is "Free" (no longer under the contract of marriage) Free to divorce if the spouse does not.



Logan Answered:
The issue of divorce has been brought up by my pastor on occasion and the two biblical reason he gives for divorce (and i apologize for not remembering the verses he gave) are unrepentant adultery and persecution based on your faith. I don't know if one of these fits your situation, but the Bible does say that a unbeliever husband can be converted by the conversation (meaning everyday walk) of the wife. Just something to chew on. The best thing to do in find the time to get into your Bible.



God is my Salvation Answered:
no

its no divorce except for fornication

that means looking to another woman for a relationship

he has not done that from what you say

KJV: Matthew 5:32. But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.



Rachel7 Answered:
The Bible does say, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord," but it also instructs, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:22,25). A man who under-stands that Jesus Christ sacrificed His lifes blood for the Church will likewise love his wife sacrificially and passionately. He will honor her, respect her, protect, love, and cherish her as much as he does his own body, as he is instructed to do (Ephesians 5:28). He will never say or do anything to harm or demean her. It is in this atmosphere of love and security that a godly wife willingly submits herself to the protective arms of her husband. She does this not because he is better than she is, but simply because this is Gods order for His creation.

A godless world rejects the God-given formula to make marriage work. It thinks it knows best, and suffers the heartbreaking consequences of destroyed marriages and ruined lives. The Christian ideal of marriage is not one of an authoritarian and chauvinistic male holding his cringing wife in submission like an obedient dog. Its the very opposite. While most of the great religions treat women as inferior to men, the Bible gives them a place of dignity, honor, and unspeakable worth, expressed so evidently in Proverbs 31.

I wish you well. Please do not get a dievorce for it is a sin just as worse as the others. I want you to vist wayofthemaster.com

This is a wonderful website, Thier are many ways that they teach you how to get to someones heart and bring them to Jesus. This is all your husband needs. He needs to push away everything and give himself to Jesus.

I will pray for you and God Bless the both of youns'



JW625 Answered:
The Bibles View on Divorce and Separation
Jehovah expects those who are married to remain faithful to the marriage vow. When uniting the first man and woman in marriage, Jehovah stated: A man … must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh. Later, Jesus Christ repeated that statement and added: Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart. (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6) Hence, Jehovah and Jesus view marriage as a lifelong bond that ends only when one partner dies. (1Corinthians 7:39) Since marriage is a sacred arrangement, divorce is not to be taken lightly. In fact, Jehovah hates divorces that have no Scriptural basis.Malachi 2:15,16.

What forms a Scriptural basis for divorce? Well, Jehovah hates adultery and fornication. (Genesis 39:9; 2Samuel 11:26, 27; Psalm 51:4) Indeed, he finds fornication so despicable that he allows it as grounds for divorce. (For a discussion of what fornication involves, refer to Chapter9, paragraph7, where fornication is explained.) Jehovah grants the innocent mate the right to decide whether to remain with the guilty partner or to seek a divorce. (Matthew 19:9) Hence, if an innocent mate decides to seek a divorce, that one does not take a step that Jehovah hates. At the same time, however, the Christian congregation does not encourage anyone to seek a divorce. In fact, some circumstances may move the innocent mate to remain with the guilty one, especially if that one is genuinely repentant. In the end, though, those who have a Scriptural basis for divorce must make their own decision and accept whatever consequences it may bring.Galatians 6:5.

In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed fornication. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one remain unmarried or else make up again. (1Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.

Willful nonsupport. A family may become destitute, lacking the basic essentials of life, because the husband fails to provide for them, although being able to do so. The Bible states: If anyone does not provide for … members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith. (1Timothy 5:8) If such a man refuses to change his ways, the wife would have to decide whether she needs to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation. An abusive spouse may act so violently that the abused mates health and even life are in danger. If the abusive spouse is a Christian, congregation elders should investigate the charges. Galatians 5:19-21.

Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break Gods commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to obey God as ruler rather than men is to obtain a legal separation.Acts 5:29.

In all cases involving such extreme situations as those just discussed, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other. While spiritually mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, they cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God or the marriage arrangement if she exaggerated the seriousness of her domestic problems just to live separately from her husband, or vice versa. Jehovah is aware of any scheming behind a separation, no matter how one may try to hide it. Indeed, all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting. (Hebrews 4:13) But if an extremely dangerous situation persists, no one should criticize a Christian who, as a last resort, chooses to separate. In the final analysis, we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God.Romans 14:10-12.



Genegee Answered:
There is no need to ruin your life because of what you feel your not supposed to do, is there? You are very religious so what happened with your husband, religion wise?Keep this in mind that you can only change you and at this point he is dragging you down in many ways. My suggestion is to stop enduring the abuse of all kinds and get the divorce you will be glad you did. After that is done then start working on yourself because you helped create that mess in a small or larger part so that it will never allow it to happen again. Good luck and God bless..



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