Posts tagged "Alexander Answered"

DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DISGRACE ON MY PART?

Hazel Wykes Asked: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DISGRACE ON MY PART?

I am 59 yrs of age-divorced from unhappy abusive loveless 25yr marriage to a man i didnt wish to marry but my parents wanted rid of me so had no choice but to marry.
I live in a council tower block flat this last ten years-have a serious spending addiction & a obssesive compulsive disorder plus am Bi Polar.I havent had any control of my spending on material things i dont need out of my income support.I keep wanting & craving luxury items such as the i-phone 4S which i can never have as i'm banned from all credit and i dont work have no savings and live on income support i cant save up for a i-phone-it'd take years to do-& NO no-one will take me out a phone contract in their name so i can get my mitts on a much coveted i-phone-even my son Wont as he took me out an old nokia 6700 last xmas 2010 on a contract which runs till xmas 2012 so he wont take out another contract for me at least until my presant contract ends-so i feel angry and resentful and bitter all the time cause i cant get my fix right now.
I'm constantly angry and depressed cause i've got no money except fortnightly when i get my benefits then i go out and blow it all barely leaving enough to pay the proper amounts on my household bill instalments-and regarding food-we myself and son practicually go without as i have no money for us to eat proper food due to my obsessive reckless spending.Its been over ten years since we last eat meat,fish,veg and fruit-we just live on sugary junk food-our health isnt very good at all-& my health is absolutely terrible-i get breathless and exhausted just walking to my local shops 6 mins walk away.I have to go to bed for several hours to recover when i get home.I have a lot of health problems both physical and mental.
I cannot buy shoes and clothing either cause i cannot save up money from my benefits for these-havent bought clothes and shoes for ten years so i walk around in tatty old clothes and have one pair of shoes only that are getting worn out.
I have over thirty creditor debts-have been paying creditors by a debt management scheme for ten years but i'll never be able to pay them all off so am now undergoing a debt relief order.
I thankfully get my rent and council tax paid for & just have my bills to pay on fortnightly instalments but i keep spending so much of my benefits away each two weeks so cant pay the proper amounts and often have to skip payments and most weeks i only have ten pounds available for both food and household cleaning items etc.I keep having to beg a tenner off my ex husband each week to see us through.
Because i have no money left during the week i dont have my benefits i get very angry and depressed as i've got no money to spend so i'm shut up at home feeling resentful.I cant go out anywhere as i've got no money left at all and i hate been shut up in my flat all day every day untilbenefits day comes round again.
I feel better whilst i'm out spending but once the moneys gone i feel down and depressed again and go into rages sometimes violent.I even took it all out on a pet hamster once and almost killed the poor thing.
I am so full of anger and resentment now because i cant have and never will have the i-phone 4S that my son has got cause he's allowed credit for mobile phone credit but i'm not cause of the amount of debt i've got into.He has also been working till recently so deserves that phone-but i just wished i could have one-i've had a go on it and i can highly recommend the i-phone 4S but i cant get my son to take me out another contract so i'm in a foul black mood all the time now.I only cheer up once a fortnight when i get my benefits and then i go out squandering my money away & then when i realise there isnt enough left to last the fortnight for food and the bills i'm all angry and resentful again.
I need some kind of help-but what and where from?I cant go on this way.Other people on here said i'll end up stealing to get what i want or commiting murder and will end up homeless if i dont seek help urgently as i'll just get worse not better.

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Posted by admin - October 18, 2011 at 11:00 am

Categories: Divorce Questions   Tags: , , ,

Why do I feel so apathetic when it comes to love? 10 points?

Alli Sane Asked: Why do I feel so apathetic when it comes to love? 10 points?

I've just sort of started to realize it this year, my sophomore of high school. Like, I've never been in a really relationship before, just one in middle school, which doesn't really count. And since that ended I had decided that I was going to wait to get into a relationship for "The One" and subsequently avoid my family curse of either getting knocked up before age 21, being cheated on, loveless marriages, and being old maids. Considering my lack of a stable relationship to look up to, I found myself admiring the relationship of Twilight's Edward and Bella. I realized that that's what I want, hence the idea of waiting for "The One"

Now I went with that pretty well my freshman year, I didn't really spark anyone's attention. But this year I sparked one guy's attention, but he wasn't what I was looking for and I cut off communication. Or like last night this guy in my English class IM-ed me on Facebook, we talked music for a bit, but I don't really know.

Sometimes in class I'll be looking around and spot a decent looking guy and think "Hmm, ok, I guess I like him." But then I'll think it over, usually the next day, and the idea of liking said guy loses it's luster. And I mean, I'm not at all desperate, quite independent actually, but I still have that want for love, real, true, deep love. I have a lot of love to give and I would like a lot in return. But at this point, I don't know if I see that happening where I am, here in a mundane suburban Colorado city. I feel almost like I have to start all over in a new city, a new state, to get even close to getting what I want. I'm starting to feel hopeless, apathetic, when it comes to love. There is one thing I'm looking for and I don't see it coming. I know I'm young, in a sense, but I want to find "The One" early on so I can spend as much time with him as humanly possible. And I don't want to "live it up" as a teenager. That's not something I want, that I'm interested in. And I've always sort of had the idea in my head that I would find love young, since I was like 5, crazy but true. I don't value my time by how many guys I dated, or flirted with etc. my teen years would be ones to reminisce upon if I did find my love in them, that's what I want/ I would be perfectly happy with being with one person from now till the end, I've always been told I'm too mature for my age. But I'm just….feeling empty I guess? I don't even know.

Any advice?

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Posted by admin - September 17, 2011 at 7:00 am

Categories: Divorce Questions   Tags: , , ,