Posts tagged "Chris Answered"

do you listen to your heart or your head?

Sarah Asked: do you listen to your heart or your head?

I don't know whether to listen to my heart or my head. I can't really tell which one is saying what anyway. I am STRONGLY considering divorce. My marriage has been rocky for years, marred by adultery and some abuse on his behalf. He is trying now, but i don't feel like i know i should feel toward my spouse in my heart. i don't really feel anything anymore. i am tired and not really trying at this point. any advice would be appreciated.

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Posted by admin - October 31, 2011 at 6:00 pm

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Abusive husband need help?

Mary Asked: Abusive husband need help?

I was deployed and got back a mon ago, I had to leave my job as air force officer since husband is enlisted in the army and couldn't handle taking care of our 4 year old.Now I came back to this place where my husband is assigned to. He has 13 yr daughter with his ex and is alcoholic and he is 36and I'm 26. We have home in another state which I paid it off and I cannot wait to go back there and I will in a month or so. Husband goes off on me every time his ex calls and calls me names and when I tell her to keep me out and to leave me alone , he tells me I need to to be nice to his ex even if she calls me names and he started calling me names and even try to hit me. I have plan to go back to my home and take my son with me. Not to mention he is on pain killers and addicted to it and every time he over dose them and I have to take him to er and feed him and is just like living with someone who may even kill you and is danger to be around. I took him to rehab paid tons of money but no help. I know he won't give me divorce easily. Please tell me what should I do and will he get my home even if it's on my name alone.

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Posted by admin - October 26, 2011 at 10:30 pm

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Songs about relationships?

Sammy Asked: Songs about relationships?

Does anyone know any good songs about your husband lying and stealing, and now were separated. I want him to know I love him but becuase of what he did I just can be around him and I need time. I dont want a divorce, but I just need time??? Any advice on good songs?

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Posted by admin -  at 10:30 pm

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18 year old virgin in college?

Taylor F Asked: 18 year old virgin in college?

I'm a girl and a freshman in college. I've never really had a boyfriend, so I haven't had a reason to have sex with someone although naturally there's always been the chance. It seems like everyone in college has lost it and act like I'm some super "innocent" strange person when they find out and almost treat me like a child. I'm not waiting til marriage or anything and it's annoying. I'm scared to start dating a guy here who might be weirded out by the fact I'm still a virgin. I'm also unsure of the right time to have sex. Like, not saying I'm planning on losing my virginity this year or anything, but I'm just so confused on this matter, especially since it seems like relationships move a lot quicker in college and the adult world. I don't want to be looked upon as a child just because I'm a virgin (I already look young enough) or to even make a big deal of losing it whenever I do. There's a guy I'm interested in here, who I'm pretty sure isn't a virgin. Not saying he's gonna be "the one," but it got me thinking about this whole thing and whether or not I should tell a guy I'm a virgin.

I just need opinions!
1) How weird is it to be a virgin as a college freshman?
2) If I start dating a guy here, should I tell him I'm a virgin or no?
3) If I really like the guy, do I have to wait a sufficiently "long" period before having sex with him just because it's my "first time?" I know, weird question, but would it be slutty or careless of me to have sex with him within like three or so months into our relationship?
4) how would you feel as the guy on the other end of this?

I'm just really confused about this and probably overanalyzing and being weird, but I've got to know!

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Posted by admin - October 25, 2011 at 8:00 am

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I am 59 yrs of age-divorced from unhappy abusive loveless 25yr marriage to a man i didnt wish to marry but my parents wanted rid of me so had no choice but to marry.
I live in a council tower block flat this last ten years-have a serious spending addiction & a obssesive compulsive disorder plus am Bi Polar.I havent had any control of my spending on material things i dont need out of my income support.I keep wanting & craving luxury items such as the i-phone 4S which i can never have as i'm banned from all credit and i dont work have no savings and live on income support i cant save up for a i-phone-it'd take years to do-& NO no-one will take me out a phone contract in their name so i can get my mitts on a much coveted i-phone-even my son Wont as he took me out an old nokia 6700 last xmas 2010 on a contract which runs till xmas 2012 so he wont take out another contract for me at least until my presant contract ends-so i feel angry and resentful and bitter all the time cause i cant get my fix right now.
I'm constantly angry and depressed cause i've got no money except fortnightly when i get my benefits then i go out and blow it all barely leaving enough to pay the proper amounts on my household bill instalments-and regarding food-we myself and son practicually go without as i have no money for us to eat proper food due to my obsessive reckless spending.Its been over ten years since we last eat meat,fish,veg and fruit-we just live on sugary junk food-our health isnt very good at all-& my health is absolutely terrible-i get breathless and exhausted just walking to my local shops 6 mins walk away.I have to go to bed for several hours to recover when i get home.I have a lot of health problems both physical and mental.
I cannot buy shoes and clothing either cause i cannot save up money from my benefits for these-havent bought clothes and shoes for ten years so i walk around in tatty old clothes and have one pair of shoes only that are getting worn out.
I have over thirty creditor debts-have been paying creditors by a debt management scheme for ten years but i'll never be able to pay them all off so am now undergoing a debt relief order.
I thankfully get my rent and council tax paid for & just have my bills to pay on fortnightly instalments but i keep spending so much of my benefits away each two weeks so cant pay the proper amounts and often have to skip payments and most weeks i only have ten pounds available for both food and household cleaning items etc.I keep having to beg a tenner off my ex husband each week to see us through.
Because i have no money left during the week i dont have my benefits i get very angry and depressed as i've got no money to spend so i'm shut up at home feeling resentful.I cant go out anywhere as i've got no money left at all and i hate been shut up in my flat all day every day untilbenefits day comes round again.
I feel better whilst i'm out spending but once the moneys gone i feel down and depressed again and go into rages sometimes violent.I even took it all out on a pet hamster once and almost killed the poor thing.
I am so full of anger and resentment now because i cant have and never will have the i-phone 4S that my son has got cause he's allowed credit for mobile phone credit but i'm not cause of the amount of debt i've got into.He has also been working till recently so deserves that phone-but i just wished i could have one-i've had a go on it and i can highly recommend the i-phone 4S but i cant get my son to take me out another contract so i'm in a foul black mood all the time now.I only cheer up once a fortnight when i get my benefits and then i go out squandering my money away & then when i realise there isnt enough left to last the fortnight for food and the bills i'm all angry and resentful again.
I need some kind of help-but what and where from?I cant go on this way.Other people on here said i'll end up stealing to get what i want or commiting murder and will end up homeless if i dont seek help urgently as i'll just get worse not better.

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Posted by admin - October 18, 2011 at 11:00 am

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I hope I done the right thing?

Mary Asked: I hope I done the right thing?

I spoke with my girlfriend today that has had a lot of trouble in her relationships. She has made a lot of bad choices in her life with short relationships she is now 42 and cant seem to want to make a commitment to one man. She had two short marriages, abortions and affairs. She is never without a man for more than two weeks and she starts another one, in most cases she dont get out of one before she has one lined up. She was involved with a married co-worker since her last divorce, but she found this guy she was just with for two years, he was such a nice guy, really loved her and her kids, but throughout this relationship she continued flip-flopping back and forth with her married co-worker and each time the good man took her back and finally a couple of weeks ago her ended the relationship. She has told me yet, but I feel she is right back involved with the married co-worker.

I told her today, you are not doing right by yourself or by your children. I said the man you were just with was the best thing that had ever come into your life, yet you lied to him, cheated on him and came back each time, all of that had to be very hurtful and stressful for this man and for your children. I see you as suffering from something maybe that something is commitment, you act happy but your eyes and face show sadness, anger, and bitterness, will you please seek some help for commitment phobia, or maybe other areas in your life, I will do everything I can to help you, because I love you as a friend and I have for many years.

Then she started faulting the good guy, he made her feel worthless because he done everything, he was negative, anything she could fault him on she did, but then I asked her, what does you married co-worker offer you. This stumped her then she said he loves me and I love him, we talk, we have a bond like no other I have ever had. I then told her you cant build a life around deception, he loves you because you are free, you are a sex toy away from his wife, and he will never leave his wife for you. Then she gets angry and says I dont want him to leave his wife, I just dont ever want to be committed again. I then tell her that is her choice for herself and her children, but think of how much damage you have and continue to cause this mans wife and her child by continuing to sleep around with her husband, and you have been caught three times already. She got mad and said she had to go.

I fill bad to tell her all these things, but I feel I done the right thing, I feel so sorry for her and dont understand that logic. I feel its so important that she be with just one man, she needs a man her life, its hard being a single mother of two young kids. I know it can be done and has been done, but nature did not set us up that way.

What would make this woman keeping running back to that married co-worker knowing he is not going to leave his wife for her? There is no love here, no where in the definition love will you find the word deception or infidelity. You know I really care for my girlfriend but maybe the best this is just let her go her way and fall or maybe she will be happy one day, maybe wake up one day and truly see the reality of all this.

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Posted by admin - October 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm

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My wife is asking for a divorce, although we are newly married, what should I do?

John Asked: My wife is asking for a divorce, although we are newly married, what should I do?

I'm newly married, my wife income is more than mine, but she is keep asking me for money all the time, I have huge debt, but she don't care, no one is accepting to lend me any money anymore, because I can't pay them back anymore, since she is sucking every penny I have, I talked to her more than one time, but she don't care, she is asking me to have a better job, like I have a magical wand and I can have a better job just by snapping my fingers.
Now she is saying to me that she is done, and she can't do this anymore, I think the reason behind that that she is having a bank check from her school, and she is supposed to pay for my VISA application, she is American, and I'm Asian. I would've paid the money for the VISA if she didn't suck all of my money, I know that some might think that I married her for VISA or something like that, but I promise you I married her because I love her, nothing more nothing less, we have been friends for 3 years before we get married.
I really need an advice, because I don't know what to do anymore, is it OK for her to keep sucking my money, putting me in a very bad financial situation, to the point I were unable to have any money for food in my pocket for some days, and she used to laugh on me because I keep eating noodles, since I really don't have any money to eat real food!!! She still have 3 days to receive her check, but she started to be an #@$% since 2 days by now, add to that, I'm a student, but I'm trying to get money, just to send it for her!!!!
She was having a chance to have a better salary, choose a better job, or at least ask for higher salary, but she was very stubborn about it, and she just accepted the first offer for her!!!
She is so nice to everyone, her friends, her colleague in her work, or strangers, but she is a total @#$@ to me, I really don't know what to do any more, she sucked all of my money, and I'm newly married, and it's my first marriage, but not her first…..I'm really scared of the idea of the divorce…you know…first marriage with only a couple of months of marriage, that is really scare.. Can anyone help me please with an advice rather than suggesting a divorce?

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Posted by admin -  at 11:30 am

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Im in love and having problems?

Samantha Asked: Im in love and having problems?

Okay ready..
Mike moved away cause his parents got divorced
We txt everyday nd like each other
when he comes back to ny to see his dad we hang out
this time we hung out we did alot of things if u no what I mean but no sex
i txt him alot
i always talk bout us dating and he always.says no bc hed only see me a few times nd a long distance realationship wuld b hard but he still loves me… Ughh I want him tho! What do I do

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Posted by admin - October 8, 2011 at 9:00 am

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Is this really the alternative to marriage?

soulman Asked: Is this really the alternative to marriage?

Once upon a time a prince asked a beautiful princess "will you marry me" The princess said "No" and the prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and screwed around with cute skinny girls and hunted and raced cards and went to nudie bars and date women half his age and drank beer, jack daniels's and captain morgan. He drank milk straight from the jug and never heard bitc hing and went to rock concerts and kept his apartment and favorite jeans an never got cheated on while at work. All his family and friends thought he was f ing cool and heck and he had TONS of money and left the toilet seat up. The End.

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Posted by admin - October 7, 2011 at 10:00 pm

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How do u end an marriage of eight years, cause your not sure it is going to work any way?

shark Asked: How do u end an marriage of eight years, cause your not sure it is going to work any way?

Me and my husband have been married for 8 yrs, we have two children. We have had our share of ups and downs. but i think that i have come to place in my life where i really don't want to be married to him anymore. There are a lot of reasons why i don't, but i really feel like he isn't going to change. i don't think that it is all of his fault. I shouldn't have waited so long to tell him the things that bother me. But how do u end some thing if u are really not sure.i really don't know what to do or how to fix it. We have talked, but it is like it goes in one ear and out the other. I love life, i love to laugh. And all he wants to do is grip. i really think that this might be over my head.

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Posted by admin - October 6, 2011 at 1:00 pm

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