Posts tagged "Colum Mc"

What is going on here, is it over?

Frank is Back Asked: What is going on here, is it over?

Me and my wife became disconnected from each other over the last two years.There are multiple factors as to why. My work hours are not normal (afternoons), but we always made it work before. We've been married for 12 years with two young kids. She filed for divorce in late August.

After our second child was born she changed and had doubts of her ability to be a good mom. The kids really stressed her out. Then in Jan 09 she lost her job and went in to a depression. She since went back to college p/t and has a year left. She also found out her mom has bad lung cancer several months ago. My wife had a rough childhood and has very bad relations with her Dad.

I told her I would work on our marriage and she agreed. Things were good for two weeks. We had sex, kissed, hugged, and were great to each other. Then she starts giving me the cold shoulder again. I mean completely cut me off so I gave up and she filed.

I knew there was something fishy so I did some poking around and found her diary. Apparently she has been going for walks every morning and met a much older man (69, she is 37!). He is a divorcee too. It said they fell in love on an emotional level and he wanted to have sex with my wife, but my wife wouldn't until she got divorced (I believe it because it was in her secret diary, she didn't tell me this). I realized I do love my wife, but I never had real feelings for her. Our first date was set up by a co-worker because my wife had a crush on me. At the time I didn't have any attraction to her but figured I would just go out and have fun. Love grew though and we had many fun times and some bad times. I don't know what is going on with her now. She is not the person I married.

Not that I was perfect either. I had a 6 month affair with a coworker back in 1999 that was emotional and somewhat physical. What scared me is that I had those initial emotional feelings of attraction and connection tot he girl I had an affair with. We had real feeling for each other. It took me several years to get over the time I spent with her.

I have decided that since me and my wife (and kids) will be in the same house for a few more months that I will be nice and caring. I will just give her her space. I love her and I can't stand the fact of losing my kids and becoming a weekend Dad. It did hurt me to find out she had feeling for someone else. Especially someone so old. Is this because of the problems with her Dad when she was young?

What should I do? I never wanted a divorce. But I am preparing because it very well may be too late.
I have to meet my lawyer again tomorrow to go over a possible settlement. I was thinking of seeing a therapist also. My wife won't. She says she already brought up seeing a therapist for the both of us before, but I do not remember her saying that- ever.

I feel hurt.

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Posted by admin - October 23, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Categories: Divorce Questions   Tags: , , ,

how am i supposed to deal with my parent’s divorce?

Renee Asked: how am i supposed to deal with my parent’s divorce?

i'm a teenager, and honestly i feel like i'm about to have an emotional breakdown because of this. i feel like i wanted their marriage to work more than they did. i KNOW they still love each other! for a fact, they will NEVER stop. they've been together for over 23 years (more than half their lives) and i'm so shocked how they can just throw all of that away! what the hell?! i'm angry, sad, hurt, etc. what do i do, how do i know it's for the best, will everything be okay? please help me.

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Posted by admin -  at 12:00 pm

Categories: Divorce Questions   Tags: , , ,