What are some pretty basic steps to stop being controlled by a controlling wife without making her u

LeftBehind2Scar Asked: What are some pretty basic steps to stop being controlled by a controlling wife without making her u

It's obvious that my wife is controlling because she has convinced herself that controlling her environment and the people around her is a way to protect herself from getting hurt or disappointed. But I can't keep living my life with her threatening me to divorce when we argue, or leaving the room when she's about to lose an argument and have to apologize, or go to sleep when it's my turn to talk about my needs/feelings, or force me to stay awake to listen to her needs/feelings, or when things don't go her way she takes charge and manipulates everyone/everything around her so she can get what she wants, or anything else she does…

It's very obvious to me that if I was to strip her of her control over her environment or even just over me, she would go into an unstable and anxious state of mind and try EVEN HARDER to control what I denied her. She has a false sense of security by controlling everything around her; even the financials have to be in her control because she doesn't trust anyone but herself.

How do I end the controlling and give her the correct coping skills to deal with her fear, anxiety, and her insecurities??? Because controlling your husband and all his actions is NOT a way to have a successful marriage…

Answers:

Happy2 Answered:
Rather than letting tensions build through the day, you should agree to address them and deal with them as they come up, one way of dealing with them being simply to let them go whenever possible.You can change this pattern if you choose to.My wife and I learned early on in our marriage that it is better to have a conversation, or a negotiation, than a fight.Now we almost never fight, and we've been married for 25 years.



Zeus Answered:
normal to argue once in a while but all the time and not married a year somethings got to give maybe you should sit her down and ask her whats bothering her and try and find out whats wrong and see if both of you can make a few changes for the better



WendiShhhh Answered:
You two need to learn how to COMMUNICATE!Maybe you two need to have hobbies of your own which will allow you two to be apart and at the end of the day you share about your day.

The first year is always a tough year but its not the toughest.You guys should try reading the book 5 love languages.It is a great tool.

I really hope you two find a way to make this work…the more you sleep on the couch the more likely your marriage will not take those sleepless nights as a threat to you too…sleeping on the couch should be considered a big deal and a problem that needs to be fixed.

If you guys get in a fight tonight…tell you that yes YOU ARE MAD but you will not leave her…and sleep with her no matter what!!

Good luck from the bottom of my heart!



MesoLong Answered:
Absolutely not. Ive been with white men my whole life. And i love them. They've loved me and cared for me better than any man of my own race. I don't blame my people but they just have too many problems and ive always wanted a white man. I cant help it and i don't make excuses about it. I think you and your boo should do whatever makes you too happy. Bless you.



ShadowCat Answered:
fox and msnbc have more journalistic integrity than aol



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