What should be done my husband is living a double life with other woman and putting me and our kids

Bella Asked: What should be done my husband is living a double life with other woman and putting me and our kids

He won't fully recommit to our marriage and he won't end this affair. It hurts so bad because I don't want to give up on our family. I have been so lonely and neglected for over 5yrs sue to his affair. This needs to stop but, I don't know where to begin. I hold on to his every word with hopes of fixing our broken marriage. He will say don't worry about her and then I figure out he is still with her. What can I do to end this affair and rebuild my family?

Answers:

theunluckiest Answered:
Isn't it obvious? DIVORCE!

If he won't end the affair, then obviously he is invested physically and emotionally with that. And if it's been FIVE YEARS, I think you should have clued in after a few weeks or months…much less FIVE years. If you're lonely and neglected, YOU should walk away. You deserve a life and to be happy instead of hanging on to a FALSE hope that things will get better.

There is nothing you can do to end the affair because it's not your affair to end. The only thing you can do is to end your marriage. You can't rebuild a family when your partner has no desire to do it.



pearl Answered:
you wont be able to end his affair. Either you can wait forever for him to end his affair (he may start another one later), or you can leave him and start a new life (see a lawyer first to financially protect yourself and children) or you can continue this life.



AmandaR Answered:
try marriage counseling. If you can't get him to commit to that then there is really no use in continuing the marriage.

Sorry to say this but you may have to divorce him. He's clearly not interested in you, your feelings, or your family.



Paul Answered:
went through this with my ex wife i put up with it for many years,if you put pressure on him and give him an ultimatum then prepare yourself for him to leave you and the kids as thats what position i am in now-home alone with kids and very lonely and bored,dont always blame the other woman because she only knows what your husband is telling her,maybe you should speak to this other woman and see what is going on.



ladyren Answered:
No he for sure is not living a double life.

You are allowing him to use you as a door mat….. and he can't do that unless you let him.

YOU are allowing this.

And when you finally wake up and realize that it is YOU who is making this happen, you'll tell the idiot to leave, and you'll get on with your life.

No one can use you unless you let them.

You are letting him.You hold on to his every word?Are you kidding?Whatever happened to your pride, and your self esteem?????????????????

Stupid.

Don't shoot the messenger…………you asked.



K8 Answered:
Take yourself and your children out of limbo.He is not worth your time at this point.Look, you won't be giving up on your family – you have the kids.He gave up on the family and also himselfalready (he just doesn't realize it yet).I would not spend another second waiting to see what he will do – I would file for divorce and end the continual agony.What can you do – you end the marriage and rebuild your family – you and your children.Why are you giving him all the power?



Coco Answered:
My case I would get divorce, but one of my neighbors found out that her husband was cheating on her and somehow she found the ladys address. So, she took her kids, her sisters kids and her neighbors kid which made total 12 kids dropped to her husbands new girl house and told her if you want my husband you better take his kids as well and then she open the door of her car and let the kids out and the kids made the worse mess ever in her front yard, by crying, screaming for their father, for food, for toy and for her. She got scared and embarrassed because all of her neighbor saw it and learned that she was dating a married man. Two days later she broke up with him with no explanation. That was fun to watch. And very clever way to tell someone to get outwe are raising a family.



Peace and Love on Earth Answered:
Stay in it… you don't mind it obviously.I do feel sorry for the kids thou…



Tox Answered:
Divorce him, if he cannot commit to your marriage, family or you, you don't need him. It will be better for you in the long run, and more than likely if you take it to court you may get most of everything if you prove he is cheating on you and get child support. He doesn't deserve you! You deserve so much better than him. Don't let him control this situation.



TexasGirl88 Answered:
ignor him & continue your life with kids coz he don't deserve u



the blue fairy Answered:
Let him choose and be committed to his choice.
If he chooses you – done.
If he chooses the other – let him go, legally at that.
You always deserve to go on with your life.
Make it worth living, with or without him.



Darwin Answered:
You go down and see a lawyer and start divorce hearing. You will be surprised what reaction you will get from him. He will either stop the affair or let you go so you can have some form of happiness with someone new.Don't expect him to give her up, because you have put up with it for 5 years and he knows you will continue to put up with it all.



LIPPIE Answered:
Ive been there with the cheating husband. They tell you everything you want to hear so you dont divorce them & they have to pay child support. Like my husband, yours probably wont change because hes living the life he wants, a mistress & a family. You cant base your life on what he is doing or what he says he will do. Time to take a stand for yourself & your kids because youre the ones suffering & being hurt by what hes doing.

I divorced my ex's sorry azz after having our 3rd child & found a man that is totally the opposite, committed & family oriented. Ive never had a man love me the way my current husband does. The life i have now is well worth every headache i suffered at my ex's hand & if i had to do it all over again, i would as long as i have everything i have now. Honestly i would suffer through that sh!t twice to get the man i have now, who is truly a God send……….

Where do you begin, by saying this isnt good for me, this man doesnt love me the way i should be loved or he wouldnt do this to me & its time to let him go. Then contact a lawyer who is familiar with divorce & family law so you can get child support & maybe spousal support as well.

Remember theres a lot of us who have been through what youre going through & we survived to come out on top & so will you. Good Luck!



bonn Answered:
Leave him! don't be in limbo! think about you and your kids don't stick with a jerk.



bbd7 Answered:
wow, i feel like i just got punched in the chest with your story!!i think you should listen to your heart and your head at the same time. you need to find and keep the confidence from within yourself and stick to whatever decision you come to.

my boyfriend of 9 years is a bad alcoholic. we have a 6yr old and 8yr old both girls. everytime he would drink, i would cry and say to myself that it was as bad as cheating. he's be gone and be a different person.

i kicked him out over a month ago. we're attempting to work things out. my head and my heart said "you've had enough!! you cannot let him hurt you anymore!!" i kept that with me as my confidence. not to mentionthe help and support of my mom and brother



Caffiene Junkie Answered:
If your husband has been cheating on you for 5 years, he will never stop. It's not about you or anything you have done, there is never a reason to go outside the marital bed, never. I tried for two years to help and change a woman that I was dating, but she continued to return to a married co-worker. So please get out now, it's better to be alone with a chance to be happy then to be with someone and be filled with hurt. The court systems don't like cheaters, even more so those with children, and when you file for divorce he will say he will change etc….but you will always have in your mind when he heads out to work, when he's late, when the phone rings, or when you try to make love you will have that other woman in your mind or what is he up to now. Save yourself from this and put him on the street. He made that bed, so let him sleep in it



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