Why am i having a hard time ending the relationship? 2 kids later.?

Brown3yes Asked: Why am i having a hard time ending the relationship? 2 kids later.?

Guilty or selfish for leaving my kids without a dad?
I have asked many times what would be the circumstances that a woman would have to be in, in order to leave her partner and not feel guilty, or selfish for that matter for leaving her kids without a paternal figure.
This is my situation; I've been with the father of my 2 children(6,4) for 7 yrs. A lot of bad things have happened between the 2 of us, like cheating and lying on both parts. He says he loves me, but I don't believe him. I just think he wants us to stay together for the kids and I don't. Now more than ever I feel like i need to leave him for good.

Just recently we were arguing about something and he stated that he could do whatever he pleases since he is the one that brings money home. He has the tendency to humiliate me and belittle me. I know that he does this so I can feel that i need him, but I dnt.Why do I feel so guilty for wanting t leave him? How can I not feel guilty for leaving my kids without a paternal figure? Should I just suck it up and stay? We are not married and both have agreed that marriage as of right now is out of the picture. My 6 yr old son has already startedpicking up on things. He asks me if i love papi (daddy) and why we dont sleeep together and has even asked about marriage! I have no sexual desire to be with him. He grosses me out.Serious answers PLS!

Answers:

no1advice Answered:
Well being honest here Selfish was when you didn't put yourself on $9 dollar a month birth control pills and make sure you had some control over this….that was when selfish actually occured here.OK.

Now the horse has left the barn.Too late on the selfish mode.

You chose him to make babies with.That was YOUR choice.So now you have to put up with him forever in life.Having two kids and he is the father…..too late for any regrets.

Explain to the kids you divorce him not them in life.One day they will experience the same and understand.



Dee Answered:
You are not doing the kids any good staying togetherbut even if you do split the dad should be in the kids life- it's you two that don't get on and not the kids fault.



Sylvie Sartre Answered:
For myself, I have always tried to pull my emotions out of making any decision that could adversely affect me or my children.This is where you need to be.Think with logic and move from there.



Barb Outhere Answered:
Have you told him exactly how you feel? That is step 1. Since he is man of God, he may need a biblical reminder. First is our relatilnship with Christ, then our children, then family, friends,community,job ………..And that is the exact order the Lord tells us to structure our obligations. First thing you need yo do is pray for wisdom, guidance, and blessings. Try to set him down and have a conversation. We tend to try and have serious conversations while one person is watching tv, bathing a child, cooking, doing laundry, or maybe on the computer. I believe an environment without interruptions is very important. Then tell him your feelings. I will be praying for you.



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