Why isn’t my husband attracted to me after having a baby?

Frustrated Asked: Why isn’t my husband attracted to me after having a baby?

My husband and I just had a baby 2.5 months ago.I have two children from a previous marriage, and never had any complaints, so I am confused. He's only initiated sex a couple times, and has actually turned me down when I do. We actually had an argument about it, and he basically told me it doesn't feel the same. I was furious. Then he tried to retract and say he just has a low sex drive and he's always been that way. We've only been together 2 years, but before I got pregnant, we always did it at least once a day. I still have 11 lbs to lose, but I'm not fat by any means. Help me, I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to end up cheating or something. I love and enjoy sex, so it is a very important part of my life. Well not now Lol, but I wish it was.

Answers:

Zombie88 Answered:
Beats me, it's been almost 6 months since our son was born, child number two, and we have only done it twice since then and that has only been at my behest, even begging.So answer me first why my wife has no libido.



Chris Answered:
Tell him what you just said here.



Tony Gonzales Answered:
Maybe thats all he wanted from you was a baby. And now that he has. His job is done?



RydeOn Answered:
There's a good chance that he is a bit insecure; Maybe feels left out, due to the time you must give to your new baby. Studies show that sex is at LEAST 65% psychological, NOT physical.



Sweetdaddy Rex Answered:
Wow. I recently (my baby is 4 months old) went through the exact same thing. I didnt cheat but wanted to BAD. I still aint getting any. So in all honesty i dont know what to tell you except…. cheat. otherwise your gonna end up miserable like me. 🙁



Misty Answered:
I beleive this might be becasue he knows that you just gave birth too his baby. oput of your vagina and it might gross him out ! personally i would feel weird having sex after having a baby !



Cassie Answered:
U ve probably lost the sex appeal that usually attracted him,lose the 11 lbs first and observe how it dramatically would change.However some men get irritated and touch like having sexual relationship with women who just recently put to bed like u.Give him sometime to get over it as u also shed the extra weight.



Franklin Answered:
When he was honest with you and said he didn't "feel the same", instead of getting angry with him, you SHOULD have gotten curious.

"Honey, WHY don't you feel the same?"

But, the consequence for being honest with you only earned him your anger.So he came up with a lie instead."I have a low sex drive."Believe me, he's kicking himself in the backside for not saying that in the first place.

You need to go back and ask him why he doesn't "feel the same" anymore.But I fear asking him for an honest answer may be a moot point at this junction.After all, his attempt at being honest with you only made you furious.

And I can't see a reason why he would want to experience that a second time.



warneal69 Answered:
Your in denial!! You may not think your fat but your husband thinks your fat and that is why he does want to touch you!!!

FYI, No one wants to cheat with a fat chick!!!



LEYKIS 101 Answered:
Why do Americans always go to divorce when it comes to no sex in a relationship? He is probably depressed or just taking his time for some reason. Did he see the child birth? Thats a big big mistake!! Men fear women after seeing childbirth. Just ask him whats up.



india Iima foxtrot Answered:
Probably because you chunked out and just aren't as attractive.



mastermind delinquent Answered:
Maybe. He. Thinks. The. Baby. is. Ugly?



Frank is Back Answered:
2.5 months ago is not that long. When he says it doesn't feel the same, that is exactly what he means. Your vagina hasn't fully healed. Considering this is your 3rd child, your vagina has done some serious stretching. It can take up to a year for your vagina to get back to it's pre-delivery state.



Flower Answered:
It is a cruel truth that one of natures greatest miracles is often very scary to the husband. It can often create quite an afterimage in the minds eye when a man sees your treasure transformed during birth by scalpel, baby's head, and expulsion of placenta. It is very unfair to both you and him because you gave him the greatest gift, a child. And it is not exactly his fault. He can't get the picture out of his mind due to the shock he was unprepared for. If this is his problem, he is most likely plagued by guilt as well. He doesn't want to reject you, anything but.

The best advice I can think of is to… well, gently "baby step" (excuse the pun) him through a conversation of the problem. It is unfair to you to soothe your mans fears of manhood…again. But isn't that basic to the plight of being the wife? Most men will deny it, but we men act like little girls when it comes to icky. Sorry.

If it this isn't the problem than at least you will both have a good laugh at my expense, and the path of communication will be opened up between you, so you can find and fix the problem together.

Good luck and have fun



Brittany Answered:
A few years ago, I had a ovarian cyst rupture, and it resulted in a short hospital stay and the doctor telling us not to have sex until after my next period. 2 months later, my husband still didn't seem to want to have sex, so I pressed him as to WHY. Turns out, he was terrified he would be hurting me. Had I not pressed him for the real reason, it probably would've resulted in me thinking he no longer found me attractive, or something like that. I'm sure he was also relieved that I was able to assure him nothing hurt in there anymore.

Keep in mind, a woman's body is vastly different from a mans, and most men don't really know very much about how all that works. Perhaps your husband just doesn't find you attractive, but something tells me he's worried that sex will somehow hurt you or that your body needs more recovery time and doesn't know how to express that. As his WIFE you need to press him for the TRUTH behind the matter. There is always a reason, and he should tell you so you can move on from there.



Got a better answer? Share it below!